Top Ten Excuses for falling asleep at work ^_^
“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
“I wasn’t sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands.”
“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”
“Amen”
“This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”
“Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper”
“I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.”
“This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
“Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”
“Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”

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TEN BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK………
10. “They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.”
9. “This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.”
8. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time.”
7. “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy.”
6. “I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”
5. “I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?”
4. “Well! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem.”
3. “Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?”
2. “Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?”
And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk !
1. Raise your head slowly and say, “…in Jesus name, Amen.”

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I always wanted to try one…

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Here are the twenty five best responses if found asleep at your desk!
25. “Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!”
24. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
23. “This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!”
22. “You don’t discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis Yeast syndrome, do you?!”
21. “Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.”
20. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
19. “Oh, hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.”
18. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.”
17. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper.”
16. “I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”
15. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
14. “I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.”
13. “I’m doing the “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan” (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.”
12. “It worked well for Reagan, didn’t it?”
11. “This is a highly specific Yoga position to relieve work-related stress.”
10. “Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!”
9. “I was working smarter-not harder.”
8. “Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
7. “I’m in the management training program.”
6. “The coffee machine is broken.”
5. “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
4. “Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”
3. “Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”
2. “Its okay. I’m still billing the client.”
And the #1 response if found asleep at your desk:
1. “… and I especially want to thank you for my excellent boss. Amen.”

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- “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
- “This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.”
- “Whew! Guess I left the top off the Wite-Out. You probably got here just in time!”
- “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.”
- “I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”
- “I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?”
- “Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”
- “The coffee machine is broken.”
- “Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.”
- “… in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

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1.”Oh, man! come in at 6 and look what happens.”
2.”You don’t discriminate against people with latient atrophy zymosis yeast syndrome do you?!.”
3.”They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”
4.”Oh hi, i was tring to pick up my contact lens without my hands.”
5.”This is just a 15 min power nap like they raved about at the management course you sent me on.”
6.”I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.”
7.”I was just testing the keyboard for drool resistance.”
8.”This is a highly specific yoga position to relive work stress.”
9.”The coffee machine is broken.”
10.”It’s okay i’m still billing the client.”
11.”And i especialy want to thank you for my excellent boss amen.”

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Punching Colleagues (but it really depends on how socially acceptable this is in your place of work).
Other amusing things include (but are not limited to):
- Shooting staples at a bin (bonus points if it bounces on the rim and goes in)
- Unwinding paperclips or making a paperclip chain
- Origami
- doodling
- Y!A

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. It’s an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don’t care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

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My last shift will be February 10th before I go on Mat leave. Not much longer, thank goodness. We have recently been having problems at work with someone stealing money from my department and it is starting to stress me out because now no one can be trusted and everyone is pointing a finger. Luckily they have proof that it wasn’t me, and also that it wasn’t my trainee and one other co worker is in the clear.(According to management, it appears as someone is trying to set someone else up to be fired) I have been there for 3 years, and never gone through this.
I am wondering if the added stress is something I should mention to my doctor at my appointment on Tuesday. It’s not life threatening I’m sure, and I know I can last until the 10th…but would you mention it to see what the DR says anyway?

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I currently have a full time job that takes me out of the house from 07:20 am to approx 19:00. Husband does not want to move but we can’t afford this house on one wage. If I go back to work after having my baby i’ll hardly see it? He’s not being very reasonable, we don’t normally argue, but this is getting me quite stressed.
I no longer enjoy my job after a couple of management changes and a restructure have left me working for a t*t in an unsuitable role, but I get paid extremely well.
Do I push now to move? Do I carry on and plan to return to work then look for a new closer job later on?
all advice welcome.

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