My husband has been under a lot of stress at work ever since he started the management position. I notice he has a hard time seeing the positive lights in people, all he focus on are the negativities around him.
I have been keeping up with the supportive wife role for a long time now, but he is becoming more and more moody, and I am REALLY tired of dealing with it (he works, I run a successful business from home, and we have a small child together. I do the cooking, cleaning, majority of the work with our child, because I want him to relax from a long day at work).
He’s not depressed, not bi-polar, other than the moody outbursts, we really enjoy each other’s company. I need some advice on what to do the next time he snaps (getting quite frequently now a days), I tried ignoring his anger, listening to his point of view, not get effected by his foul moods, but it’s getting real old and I don’t want our child to think it’s ok to have angry ourbursts. Thanks in advance for your inputs!
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Sick Of Dealing With Husband’s Moodiness!?10 comments to Sick Of Dealing With Husband’s Moodiness!? |
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My husband was that way for about 6 years now. I confronted him about how tired I am of carrying the emotional burden and how he makes me and the kids feel unwanted a month ago. He was very angry.
The next day, though, he started being more considerate. When I asked him why, he said that he will never be as considerate and up beat as me but he wants to help me not have to carry his burden so much. He has been wonderful since then.
I immediately praised his every effort. I gave him more affection. I told him when I mentioned his improved behavior to his family andf my girl friends and how I was SO happy because of it. I make sure not to pounce on him when he is a little irritable or forgetful (and he hasn’t been angry, withdrawn, harsh, hateful, yelling, door slamming or unreasonable at all) or go, “Oh, no..you aren’t gonna start doing that again are you!?”
He helps more. It is easier all the way around and I love it.
I know this may sound pie-in-the-sky but when you can tell him/show him how it hurts you and he will accept responsibility you both need to work on it amnd stay on track.
P.S. When my hubby used to slam off to the computer room, bedroom or out of the house after yellimng or fuming, I told my son,” Daddy’s is in time-out until he can be nice.” When asked I would tell him that Daddy put himself in time out until he can calm down. Later, I even added, “poor Daddy, when he was little he didn’t learn how to calm down and use his words. Now, he is mad and nobody wants to be around him or in time out a bunch.” I help my son to take deep breaths and talk it out to calm himself and he has to go in time out and calm down then talk about what was bothing him before he can come out. Its working pretty good.
Hope this helps.
When your child is in bed and you and your husband are getting along, tell him the two of you need to have a talk. Tell him you know he has a stressful job, but he’s taking this out on you and it is creating a lot of problems in your marriage.
Try to stay calm and not turn this into an argument. Just let him know how you feel, that you love him and all your concerns about him dumping all his work related stress onto you and your marriage.
There is a difference between being supportive and enabling his bad behavior. You need to tell your husband that his behavior is unacceptable. If he feels stressed he needs to find a release (maybe a sports activity). He has no right to bring the drama, negativity and stress into your home. Be firm, this will only escalate if it continues.
You need to tell him that while you understand that he’s got a lot of stress, bringing it home is taking its toll and it’s not fair to you. Help him to find a better outlet for his stress, but do not continue to put up with it so much.
As he advances in his career, he will have more stress so he’s got to cope better or find another job.
well people have angry oubursts and your child will encounter this his entire life. Your man is doing the best he can, his home is his castle.
do no ever bad mouth your husband to your child.
when he is getting on your nerves, go to another room and pray, or read, or whatever contributes to a serene household,, show your child how to cope with life, not how to bail out on it.
Your husband might benefit from some counseling. He could vent, plus he could learn new ways to cope with his negative emotions. Ultimately, it sounds like the new job is not a good fit for him. Maybe you can suggest that he look for something else.
Rub his back. Have sex. Kiss him. Hug him.
That’s what men need. They don’t want to be ignored or be forced to “talk about it”.
If you can’t manage the sex, have him join a gym. He needs a physical release.
He just needs to learn a little behavior management, Tell him it’s OK to be angry, ANGER is an Emotion, just like LOVE.
Love is an Emotion, But if you love someone so much, that you are going by her house 100 times a day, then you are going too far with your love!! ( Now it becomes stalking)…………….ANGER is no different, it’s OK to be angry, just don’t go overboard with your anger, He has allowed his anger to control him.
Let him know, that his anger is being directed to you & your kids, when you are not warrented it.
My ex use to get out and kick dents in his car, when he got stuck in traffic, I had to explain, to him, kicking the car, did not make you feel any better, & now you have $ 1,000 worth of damage to your car.( But now you see why he is my EX ! )
Managment is not an easy job as you tend to deal with a lot of people issues and can be very stressful. This is esp true for first level managers. That being said he needs to maybe find a way to deal with the stress ( ie, workout, yoga) . If this continues then maybe he is not right for the job. Not everyone is made to be manager and maybe taking another job down the road might be better for him and family. If you business at home is successful then what is keeping him from finding a job he enjoys with less stress…
You need to sit him down and tell him that your done with his snapping…..and from now on when he feels the need to be like that he can go outside and walk the block, and keep walking it until he’s done. You have tried to talk to him about it and it has not got better, so here is the ultimatum….if he wants to keep this marriage together he needs to find another way to release his ranting….be firm with this…
I really hope it helps you it did for my marriage, my husband was a bear sometimes and i couldn’t take it anymore….he did a lot of walking, and things got so much better!