i am a neat freak person, and recently i have my own place with my sister & my bf. both of them are hard to deal with. i think theyre the laziest persons. so i yell at them most of the time, always mad and get pissed. im always stressed that even when somebody bumps at me on the road or in a subway i get easily pissed off. im always mad. ive never been like this before! help!
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5 comments to I Think I Have Anger Management.? |
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You don’t have anger management, you need anger management!
Pretty much those who try so hard to over control their external environement, and people around them is because they are out of control on the inside. It sounds like you are aware this is a problem if you are getting to the point of anger at total strangers. Look inward at why you are really having problems because that is the only area in your life that can 100% be controlled by yourself. If I focus so hard at what others do then it is relief from looking at myself.
If you felt like you did not have much of a voice in your earlier years… maybe one or both of your parents over-controlling many aspects of your life. Some because of broken homes and felt really powerless over their safety or ability to feel loved or wanted. They try to over-control all events now. If I control the shots I can prevent someone else having power over me like when others made my life miserable as a kid.
It is kind of a protective mechanism to keep yourself from feeling that harm again. Unfortunately the excessive behavior in the other direction to prevent repeats of earlier experiences cause the exact same harm to those around you as well as yourself. You end up afflicting the same harm on them and you receive their anger so you actually end up hurting yourself again because you feel unloved AGAIN. Why don’t people change on their own??? The original fears are so strong that even though what you are doing is wrong and you recognize it is wrong, you are so afraid of being harmed that it prevents you from doing healthier behavior.
It’s a funny thing about the brain… the feelings of fear, lonlieness,isolation, love, warmth, belonging,safety are burnt into your memory from when you were little. What is not burnt in those memories is a concept of time. If a similar harm repeats today it’s as if you were taken right back to the really bad times as a little person. (This is the main reason we are attracted to our prospective spouse … a familiarity with growing up… unfortunately if your time as a child was a rough experience … many times this unconsciously drive us to repeat the exact same mistakes)
The good news is you can actually learn to change this and change your life for the better. Things that seemed so difficult in the past become a breeze and you feel a new peace inside. In doing so, friendships with others deepen and become valued as your friendship becomes valued by others.
sounds like you have some issues you need to deal with – seek some treatment before you lose your man and alienate your sister
No u just have road rage and u need to put your sister and bf out b4 it turns to road rage,
why are you mad? maybe you need your own space, or maybe you should stop thinking it is your problem that they are not as clean as you are.