I am so explosive lately – what is wrong with me?
I have never been like this before and really don’t know what is wrong with me. It started a few months ago. It may have something to do with the following:
1) I have been working for a company for three years and I am good at what I do. My old manager was going to promote me. She was given a different department and a new guy took over. He hired a friend of his to take the position I was supposed to get and both of them are idiots and don’t know what they are doing. I don’t think there is any management in the department and I am getting angry at work. My so called ‘boss’ seems to be in competition with me or something. Any time I have an idea – he’ll say ‘Oh, I was going to do it this way’ – and he is usually wrong.
2) I am questioning my husbands true feelings for me. He doesn’t seem to be interested in being affectionate anymore. We took a walk in the park and we have a secret romantic spot. We went there today and instead of kissing me I got a peck on the lips and he seemed ‘forced’ into it.
3) I work full time and make breakfast, lunch, dinner, food shop and care for the cats (no kids). We just moved and he complains that we haven’t finished unpacking yet. He asks when I am going to clean the house because the toilets haven’t been cleaned in a month. His brother calls me a slob. – WELL, If I cook and do the food shopping and take care of the cats – why can’t he help clean? Or am I wrong? (And YES – we have had this discussion before and he knows how I feel)
So, Lately I have been very explosive especially towards my husband. Today I made breakfast, lunch, dinner, ran a few errands, cleaned cats litter boxes. He didn’t help clean up afterwards. He went out with a few friends for a few hours came home and sat on the couch watching TV for hours. While I was working out he asked me to get him a glass of water since I want to excersice and lose weight. At the time it didn’t bother me and I thought it was funny and got him the water. Then – for some reason I started stewing about it and asking myself ” Why didn’t he get it? I wouldn’t be so stressed out if he got the water himself. Can’t he see I am working out?” Then, I asked him to help out clearing the dinner dishes. He said “I’ll get it tomorrow. I am used to being a slob from being around you.” That did it – and I went off on him for an hour screaming and yeling about how I am sick of being called a slob and that I work too so can’t he help out – how come he didn’t get his own water and I said if he got being a slob from me then I got being lazy from him and he kept saying he’s sick of hearing me yell and shut up or go to bed. He also said that he ‘asked me to get him a glass of water” and he said I could have said NO. So he just doesn’t get it. It made me more mad that he didn’t acknowledge why I was so mad. I just feel so stressed out lately. Why can’t he get his own glass of water? Why can he sit there and watch TV and relax while I am running around doing stuff.
Ok – he has a point – I could just say no get it your self- but for some reason I got it then stewed about it later.
ANyhow – my point is maybe I have a reason to feel the way I do – maybe I don’t. I just wanted other people’s opinions about it all. Is something wrong with me or are all the situations starting to get to me? I mean – I used to handle stress very well. I used to have patients and tact and know how to handle a situation without yelling and screaming. I used to just be able to talk. NOW I fly off the handle screaming and I know it isn’t helping the relationship with my husband. I yell at him for no reason sometimes. What is going on?


i think you’re just stressed out.
i don’t think it’s one thing in particular… your husband or work or anything. just little things build up on us.. and eventually it explodes. i know about it all too well.
what i find helps is exercise.
Could it be that youre pregnant and the hormones are kicking in or youre just getting older like the rest of us and cant quite handle things and stress like we used to? Of course with everything building up around and nothing appears to be going your way, theres no wonder youre feeling the way you are. This would definitely stress anyone out and looks like no one wants to help you out here. Of course you can get counseling here but I feel that all this will soon pass and youll be youre old self again. As for the venting, its quite understandable that once you used to hold it all inside you but now with all this happening at once youre just letting it go which is normal here and best that you do before you have a heart attack and they do happen. Just find a happy place where you can go to and get lost from the world and unwind by yourself. Sometimes its actually better than counseling and more fun and awhole lot cheaper too. A punching bag may help alot here too. Be patient things will change soon again. Just try not to kill someone, as much as you probably want to, please or else youll be asking me a whole new set of legal questions. Good luck and have a great week.
One word – counseling and soon.
You have Burn out. It’s that simple. Someone might come along and say your hubby is an ahole, or your boss is a dick head, they might be right, but you are experiencing burn out.
If you don’t learn to manage your stress, and your reaction to stress, it will get worse. If you want it to become a full blown depression or major exhaustion, you need to have hubby start taking up the slack. These are partly lifestyle issues and partly employment related, but its the same result.
Take some time for yourself, set a schedule to sit and watch a TV show at least several times a week and ignore the so called little mess around the place. Hubby can help out, no one broke his legs or arms did they?
Learn to say: ‘that’s to bad’ or ‘that’s nice dear’, then do what you need to do. He can get his own water.
Take assertiveness training and relaxation therapy classes, or study the theory and learn to apply them.
He sounds absurd. Men are completely clueless as to how much strain society sets on us. We slave, they get the easy road AND take all the credit/glory. Why is he making fun of you saying that you are lazy? Who got him into that criticizing mind set? If anything HE IS LAZY he can’t even get HIS OWN glass of water. Oh it is too laborious to leave the couch. Poor baby. Sure you blew up, but there was a build up to that point. Also can you find a similar, better paying less stressful position at another place of employment? Screw your idiot boss, you two obviously don’t respect each other anyway. Why torture yourself and stay? Maybe its time to move on. And…..Back to your husband, do you think he could possibly be cheating on you? His affection should not be forced and he should not be criticizing you if he truly loves you. Sounds like you need a life evaluation. No wonder you are so stressed…..