Basically I have a temper, and it can get way out of control. I’ve never hurt anybody in a lasting way, but I kick and hit and scream and cry when I lose control. I’m 16 now, and my parents don’t believe it’s safe for me to drive because of my temper.
To explain a little bit more:
My temper is genetic. It honestly is, I’m Irish and my dad has a temper like me, and my grandmother does too, though they have obviously learned how to control it. It’s definitely not a learned thing because my dad rarely loses his temper (and when he does, he does *not* hit and kick, he just yells a lot. And by rarely I mean he loses it maybe twice a year.)
I find that I can go for months without losing my temper at anyone, but if I get stressed or sick or overwhelmed and then someone (usually one of my siblings) does something big to annoy me, or if the result is that it annoys me I will lose my temper, and then for a few months after that it’s out of control and I’ll lose it at really little things (the worst so far has been when my sister took the remote away from me and I lost it at her). Eventually the cycle will slow down, I’ll keep my temper in check for months again, and then it starts all over.
I know that seeing a counsellor would help, or going to a group thing but I’m dead set against both of those. I’d really like some sort of strategy to keep things from annoying me, when they do annoy me to not lose my temper, and when I lose my temper to get control of it quickly.
Right now, I’ve tried walking away. I write in a journal. I’ve tried going for a run, I’ve tried closing my eyes and ignoring whatever is bugging me. I’d like to try listening to music but the situation doesn’t always allow it and I don’t always have my iPod with me. Counting to 10 doesn’t work either because normally by the time I realise that I’m completely overreacting and it’s not a big deal, I’m already overreacting! I just don’t know what to do, and I could really use some help. Please, has anyone dealt with this before or helped someone get through it?
Thanks,
Meg
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Anger Management (it’s A Bit Of A Long Story, But Please Read It!)?1 comment to Anger Management (it’s A Bit Of A Long Story, But Please Read It!)? |
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You could attempt to look at the problem rationally and logically, rather than focusing on the emotions you are feeling.
For example, you can express your displeasure with another person by talking to them about how you feel and how their actions made you angry. Expressing those thoughts directly to the transgressor in a calm but serious tone will tend to allow you to release your anger in a socially and culturally acceptable manner.
By using this approach, you can feel a release by directly expressing your feelings without needing to resort to physical violence or yelling.
And, when you remain cool, calm and collected during these situations, the other person will tend to mirror your response.